I’m finally excited. I feel it in my guts.
Got the white apparel. Met with some people I’ve not seen in a while. Helped a strange cat that knocked on my door one morning. And heard amazing news at work — so I’m taking the day off to celebrate with my family.
I’ve also been improving my website. The exhibition is taking most of my time, but it’s wonderfully rewarding work. My vision continues to clarify with respect to my goals for the showcase. It’s going slow but well.
With two more days to go, I’ve now decided to stop and really ask myself about my spiritual and social progress. Specifically:
- “What am I contributing to this trip?”
- “What do I need from this trip?”
I don’t have answers to either question. But that’s the point of the quest — and a sexy journal. I’m excited, even though the expanded code of conduct — no dinner, no music, songs, or dancing, and no luxuries of any kind, including a bed, or perfumes — felt a little too much. I mean, I can appreciate the rehab experience, but I don’t think I can take on Buddhism as a way of life. I’ve got way too much spirit in my bones. And music is my life. And perfumes are awesome.
But what I love about this upcoming event is that it materialized on the tail of my Kabbalah trip, and it comes on the tip of Ramadan. In other words, I got from the universe exactly what I asked for: an opportunity to experience what I have been studying. I’m thus getting the face-to-face interactions, the habitat, the full monty. I genuinely feel blessed, and can’t wait to give back.
As for my writing … well let’s just say that my mind has been occupied. I’m working on a new poetry book that’s supposed to explore my spiritual journey, but every time I sit down to work on it my mind wanders. It starts writing things. Dumb things. Things I neither have the time nor the energy to deal with. Things like this:
And if I kiss you
I wonder if you will burst.
A blueberry smearing my tongue.
Will I lick my lips?
Or lunge for another one?